roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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