just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
