Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize