Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
