just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
