I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
