Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
