Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
