her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
