I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You dont lie about slip and slides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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