but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Randomize
