Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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