I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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