while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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