Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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