Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
