respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
