he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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