youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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