Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
