So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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