If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
