Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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