mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
