Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
