She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
