You just made me feel so damn special
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
