Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
BRING THE BAGELS
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
