she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
