My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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