No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
