I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
