There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
