I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
