So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.