The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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