Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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