so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
sarcasm needs its own font
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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