Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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