ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
