My room smells like vodka and shame
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
