so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
