Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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