So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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