you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
