wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
