A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
