just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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