Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
