I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
