just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
