I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
