did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
