Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
