He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
