I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
