I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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