ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
