I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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